Cruel Intentions movie review- It's a bittersweet symphony, this life.

 The intentions were very much cruel. 

Director: Roger Kumble

Writer: Roger Kumble

Cinematographer: Theo van de Sande

Cast: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Reese Witherspoon, Selma Blair

Year: 1999

Sleazy upper-class student Sebastian (the wonderful Ryan Phillippe) will do anything to sleep with anyone who can benefit him in any way whilst also ruining their lives in the process. Sweet and innocent Annette (the brilliant Reese Witherspoon) becomes a pawn in Sebastian and Kathryn's (the amazing Sarah Michelle Gellar) raunchy wager of sexual conquests after an article comes to light claiming that Annette intends to stay a virgin until marriage. But Sebastian cant have both Kathryn and Annette, and as he attempts to woo them both, everybody's lives will change forever. 

I have got to say that Cruel Intentions is one of or if not the perfect teen melodrama, with one of the best soundtracks of the 90s. This is what rich preppy New York socialites are! Cruel Intentions walked so the entire Gossip Girl franchise could jog. Cruel Intentions will forever be appreciated for its trashy voyeuristic values. Exploring taboo subjects is not worried about social backlash which is quite refreshing to see within a movie. Cruel Intentions is not exactly an erotic thriller, though it is extremely raunchy, horny and a little steamy. Neither is it a fully fleshed-out neo-noir because the tone slips in and out of black comedy and camp. Instead, I would just like to characterize Cruel Intentions as a flawed masterpiece. Based on the French 18th-century novel Les Liaisons Dangereuses which in itself has been adapted to the screen many times over, Cruel Intentions, to me, is clearly its best adaptation. Cruel Intentions showcases the transition from the innocence of childhood to the manipulative power of adulthood, but like many say: "with power comes great responsibility". But set in a preppy high school somewhere on the Upper East Side, many haven't yet learnt to be responsible yet...or in this case, they know better but just don't care. The only flaws within Cruel Intentions are some of the unbalanced performances (aside from some homophobic language, slut-shaming and sort-of-incest?). Ryan Phillippe who plays Sebastian Valmont, is sometimes perfectly manipulative, and other times he's performance falls a little flat. I think he just finds it a little hard to be seductive and just comes across as creepy and sociopathic. That's not to say that I'm not completely impressed with his emotive performance, but there was just something missing that I can't quite put my finger on; maybe Hayden Christensen would have been more convincing? Reese Witherspoon, who plays Annette, was a little wooden at times, but when it came to showing her emotions, she shined within the frame. Sarah Michelle Gellar CARRIED this film on her back! Not only does she give the strongest performance of the film, but maybe even the strongest performance of her early career. Compared to her roles as Buffy, Helen and Daphne, it surprises me how well she can mould herself into this unbelievably dark role, but she absolutely showed the rest of the cast up and blew it out of the water! I am a firm believer in Sarah Michelle Gellar's supremacy; where is her oscar?! Kathryn was the bitch, and I'm here for it because who needs love anyway? I think we should have just let her get away with doing whatever she wanted to do. Kathryn is a feminist icon!

There are only three words I can attach to this film, and they are: 

Gaslight

Gatekeep

Girlboss 

I have come to the conclusion that the only kind of movies I'm interested in these days are sleazy trash from the 90s. On behalf of the horny community, I'd like to thank Ryan Phillippe and Sarah Michelle Gellar for existing. Cruel Intentions kept me invested; I have never wanted to watch a movie over and over like I have with this one. Just rewatching it makes you feel a little more alive, and I'm just a sucker for drama. Although Cruel Intentions is still a product of the 90s and engrained in 90s culture, I think that the film itself is quite progressive. The inclusion of male nudity, themes and topics of queerness and homosexuality, relationships between different races, the double standards in regards to female sexuality, drug use and rich white women profiting off of mental illness. Cruel Intentions is seductive, promiscuous, cruel and funny, taking pleasure in other people's misery, voyeurism, corruption of innocence and mind games, and even though these characters are horrible people, you can't help but love them. Its twisted, horny, over-the-top and kitschy atmosphere fits perfectly in with unsympathetic, immoral and seemingly unlikeable main characters that entertain a script full of amazing dialogue, monologues and plot twists. Cruel Intentions is an ode to teenage horniness and deserves to sit amongst those in the 90s cult classic hall of fame. There's just something so enticing and addictive about the aesthetic of this film, from the rich and preppy New York socialite aspect to the country home with an indoor pool, the slinky 90s fashion and the catholic high school. Cruel Intentions is just straight-up melodramatic trash, but I love it, from its soundtrack that kicks off with Placebo and ends with The Verve to the Mean Girls vibes of shitty people doing shitty things to each other and just the fucked up chemistry between the characters. The beginning and the end of this film are so wildly iconic. The first half was just spellbinding, and the end just hits you like a truck (no pun intended) and ties this film up perfectly into a little red bow with a final needle drop. 

Why is it that I must fall in love with the most problematic movies? Cruel Intentions is the greatest Shakespearean masterpiece he never made. The faux-sophistication is fully complemented by a perfectly performed cast, whilst psychological torture is being done in such a melodramatic way upon these young people it hardly even seems real. Cruel Intentions tests the limits of cruelty and the possibilities of redemption. A masterpiece of self-aware scumbaggery, this is one of the worst and the best films ever. 

Rating: 5/5 

Favourite quotes: 

"People shouldn't experience the act of love until they are in love."

"God forbid I exude confidence and enjoy sex."

"I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself." 

"Who are you to criticize something you've never experienced."